Sunday, November 21, 2004

10 WAYS HOW TO GET CHARGED IN THE ARMY*
  • While on an overseas mission in a land far far away, fall asleep during guard duty. Wake up to discover that two rifles, one M203 and one SAW to be exact, are missing from the inventory list.
  • Agitate your sergeant, thereafter whack him with a chair, ala WWE. The sergeant will kick you back and viola the both of you will be in the same cell.
  • Go on a long hoilday. Do not inform your unit or anyone and keep your handphones off at all times. Do not apply for exit permit or get leave approval as well.
  • Go around bunks and steal packets of instant noodles. The best is steal it from someone of higher rank than you.
  • Have sex with an underage girl while being on AWOL.
  • Drive a SAF vehicle and ram the pillar while reversing.
  • Use vulgar languages and threaten sergeant with a knife when the sergeant refuse to let you book out.
  • Assault your sergeant when ask to perform a task and when ask for the reason for assault, assault further.
  • Have "bad parents" that will blow the whistle on you when you are sleeping at home instead of reporting for training.
  • Lie to your superiors about having to visit a relative in hospital and then head on to Zouk instead.

* the above mentioned ways are tried and tested and the accused are currently serving out their sentence in our posh detention barracks

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