Perhaps, it's these whimsical feelings that I have been having recently. The eruption of elation and the dread of loneliness. The sole knight in a battle, slaying the endless horde of enemies. The feeling that you are still alive yet knowing that death is just around the corner in this futile battle.
As I look all around me, people are proceeding with their happiness. The company of love, friends and family. In contrast, I feel that my life has been too well planned for me in the early stages of my life. The sense of complacency, the lack of surprises, the smooth transition of day to day life. It just borders mundanity.
I watched the show, Last Kiss. It explored the concept of love, relationships and life fulfilment. The routine sequence of life masquerading in contentment and happiness. A life that I am just a few years away from now, is beyond my wildest contemplation. Somehow, there is still that missing jigsaw in my life.
The laughter that rings out loud remains hollow. The smile that greets the digits walking by remains superficial. The emptiness beneath remains real. Like an old grandpa sitting by the fireplace in his rocking chair, reflecting back on his life with a mug of coffee, the flashbacks are resounding and clear.
Trap in past, living on the glories of yesterday.
The convoultion of this post represents the disjointed notions that I now possess.