The following is an advertisment for a job opening:
MOWBRAY STATION

To be fit for this job, I would first have to explain the requirements. This is a place that is well known. It is a place where anyone that gets on the wrong side of the law in the SAF ends up at. This is the only "police station" in the SAF. This place is also opened 24 hours. So expect shift work. Currently, most of the people working there are going to finish serving their liability of 2 years in the SAF. So the future is bleak for this station as now it is only going to be manned by a ridiculous 10 people for 24 hours a day and 365 days a year. So as a person recruited to headhunt some people for this place, I hereby list the expectations.

• The person need not be mentally fit. Even if you are, expect to lose your sanity within weeks
• You must be able to "tahan" a form of practice called "GPMGing". In other words, incessant blasting from the boss.
• Boss is abit eccentric and at times she makes no sense whatsoever in her conversations. So it is best if you possess the mentality of a 8 year old. Talk like one and behave like one.
• You must be able to work shift. Sleeping is allowed in the day but expect tiring runs on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays.
• Be prepared to encounter the wierdest of people. e.g people who can't retract their tongue, people who go batam for prostitutes etc
• You must also pass a medical checkup and be declared fit for working in Mowbray Station.
• Be prepared to get baked in a non- aircon minibus that can only go at 50km/h.

Interested applicants please call Mdm Shams at 1800-I-HATE-YOUR-STUTTER. All calls will be billed to the SAF. We regret only shorlisted applicants would be informed. However, we promote reapplication. People who do not meet the requirements would be considered on a case-by-case basis.