Sunday, September 14, 2003

Try as I might, I cannot envision myself as a student of NUS. This is the prelims that I am taking but the signs are simply not there. I have been through alot of thinking recently about my future. Does it lie in Singapore or the vast hinterland beyond? I want to get out of this dot and explore the world out there. That means, try to study abroad, possibly England or Australia. However like all other aspiring students, money always feature as a brickwall to this dream.
In the other good JCs, the general consensus for further study is not NUS but overseas. Money is not a problem for their dream because they are so good that people pay them to study overseas before welcoming them back with a nice comfy job in their company. The problem with people like us in the mediocre JCs is getting people to pay you to study is like getting the UN to support US reconstruction of Iraq. This for the simple reason that we are simply not good enough relative to those smart asses.
This prelim is thus the critcal period for these people in the good JCs. This determine the standard of scholarship they recieve. Whereas for us, this prelims is the practice period in where we compete to see who can pass more subjects to attain the minimum score for the Singapore universities.
Overseas education are for two sorts of people. The very RICH and the very SMART. If you are neither rich nor smart, you will fall in the category of people like me who write blogs during exams and dream of leaving the country. Which is not entirely a bad thing because people like us have dreams to further improve ourselves and share our ideas. Thats why we write blogs.
Anyway, I digress. I am trying to attain a suitable grade now in my prelims. By suitable it means a few Cs and Ds. I tried studying in almost every single possible setting I could think of. From the Esplanade library that discourages students from using their premises to study to the Airport, where I look and dream of flying away more than I study. I hope this works because I tried it during the O levels. I hope it can happen again for As.( Lady Luck, help me one more time.)
If all else fails, then it is time to raise funds for my quest of studying overseas. I have a feeling NUS won't take me because firstly my SAT score is crap and secondly my CCA record is as empty as the National Stadium when the Singapore soccer team plays.( I told you there were signs .) Furthermore, my A level grades suck to the core. This is due to the fact that I worry more about failure to date girls then failure to pass my exams. But this discussion is another story altogether.
I hope to go overseas but my head tells me that going to NUS is the only path I should take. Which would I choose? Your guess is good as mine. I need to study.

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