My days in Singapore are numbered.
Ok, no. I don't think I should be phrashing it this way. Rest assure people, I haven't got cancer or some mysterious illness. It's just that after a long three month break, I am finally heading back to Australia this Friday.
It's a funny feeling really, sort of ambivalent. After getting accustomed to life again here on this sunny island, it feels like I have already graduated. The process of searching for a job throughout these holidays, albeit a temporary one, the stuff I have to do for the Singapore Student Association, the jobs that I have done, those late night suppers etc etc.
It feels good to be home again.
Now there is just this return to my 'home' for the next three years at least. It seems to be the first departure all over again. Just over 6 months ago, I packed my bags and annouced to this country that they can no longer provide me with a tertiary education. It was angst filled moments as I internally debated my move to leave this island I called home for all my life.
When the decision was finally made and as the day of departure beckons, I stood at the airport, surrounded by close friends and wondering what will be installed for me as I leave to the great unknown. My first semester there turned out to be fun filled and exciting. I realize that adapting myself to a new environment was not as difficult.
However, just as I was getting used to life Down Under, the summer holidays hit in. Maybe I should not have returned. After all I have spent less than a year there in Australia. But my heart yearns and the brain concedes to the aroma of Fried Hokkien Mee. The nostalgic feeling and the familiar faces of the friends and family that I grew up with came haunting. I need to go back.
Alas, getting to use to something is never good. That is because leaving the comfort zone is always the most difficult thing to do. Hence come this friday, it will be deja vu all over again. Same time and same airport, I will drag my feet and leave with reluctance yet again.
Hopefully, there will be friends seeing me off.
My brain concedes again. No, too much of a good thing till the end is also detrimental. Let myself be used to going back to the 'unknown' again. Let me embrace a bigger and sunnier island by myself.
Lindelof's early struggles at United
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